I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Groucho Marx

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

H. L. Mencken

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.

H. L. Mencken

There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a BILLION people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you.

A. Whitney Brown, The Big Picture

God does not play dice with the cosmos.

Albert Einstein

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result.

E. B. White

An amateur thinks it's really funny if you dress a man up as an old lady, put him in a wheelchair, and give the wheelchair a push that sends it spinning down a slope towards a stone wall. For a pro, it's got to be a real old lady.

Groucho Marx

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

H. L. Mencken

The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.

Abraham Lincoln

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Silvan Engel (used by Abraham Lincoln)

There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.

Winston Churchill

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't, they would be married too.

H. L. Mencken

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.
Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not a sufficient warrant.

John Stuart Mill
"On Liberty"

"Have the courage to live. Anyone can die."

Robert Cody

"Heroism consists in hanging on one minute longer."

Norwegian proverb

"A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic."

Stalin

"If we are unwilling to be aware of the dark, we cannot see the light"

John Cowan