Trapped in Time...
Surrounded by Evil...
Low on Gas.
Evil Dead III, Army of Darkness
I'm too old for this shit.
Lethal Weapon
So many assholes, so few bullets.
Dirty Harry
Time is an abyss. Profound as a thousand nights... Centuries come and go...
To be unable to grow old is terrible.
Death is not the worst... There are things more horrible than death. Can you
imagine... Enduring centuries... experiencing each day with the same futile
things.
Nosferatu (Hertzhog)
Death is not everything.
It is more cruel not to be able to die.
Nosferatu
Life is a random lottery of meaningless tragedies and a series of near
escapes.
So, I sit here and I smoke my camel straits.
Ethan Hawke from Reality Bites
"Your a woman of many parts Pussy."
James Bond, Goldfinger
"God, God, why did you put so many assholes in the world at the same
time?"
Major Santini in The Great Santini after reading news of
Fidel Castro and Nikita Kruschev
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "How tall are you Private?"
Private Cowboy: "5 foot 9 Sir".
Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann: "5 foot 9? I didn't know they could stack shit
that high... are you trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere?"
Sergeant Hartmann in Full Metal Jacket
You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with
loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.
The man with no name (Clint Eastwood), The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
"There are only two kinds of people in the world: Those who dig Clint
Eastwood movies.. and Dweebs"
Garth Ennis
HORROR FILM WISDOM:
When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's
really dead.
If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a
church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or
committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed
necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.
Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do
not know, or if they speak using a voice other than their own, shoot them at
once. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely
they'll die easy, so be prepared.
When you have the benefit of numbers, never go alone.
If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that
it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
If you're running from the monster, you will most likely trip or fall. If
you are female you will.
Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed
here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you
recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine,
especially if it is called Derry.
If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby
deserted-looking house to phone for help.
hen something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start
your car, no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, you'll have to
crank the engine over many times before it will fire up.
People arriving to rescue you generally get ambushed by the monster, so
don't rely on them as your only means of escape. In fact, expect to be
surprised and delayed by encountering their flayed corpse at some point.
Do not call the police as they are either evil and will turn you in or
will not believe you and laugh at you. Either way, you must handle the
problem yourself.
If you are using a gun to combat the all-comsuming evil, it is a good idea
to quickly find a new means of defense, because no matter how much ammo you
have, you'll run out just before you kill the monster (unless your name is
Ash, in which case, you'll never have to reload).
If you have defeated the monster, pay close attention to the camera, if it
pans away for no apparent reason at all, get the heck out of there.
Skeptics are always proved wrong in some horrible, nasty, painful way. Be
a believer.
If you are a child, don't panic! Monsters only attack overly horny
teenagers. Children can NOT be killed in a movie, only possessed or
absorbed. So cheer up!
If you've beaten the monster into a bloody pulp and you're sure he must be
dead, take the opportunity to dismember, burn, eat, blow up or otherwise
utterly destroy him.
No matter how liberated this world becomes, man will always be judged by the
amount of alcohol he can consume and women, whether they like to admit it or
not, will be impressed.
Cocktails
"Do or do not, there is no try."
Yoda, Empire Strikes Back
"There is a piper down, I repeat there is a piper down"
So I married an axe murder
"No sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!"
Col. Sanders to Dark Helmet in "Spaceballs"
Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue?
Loyd Bridges (Airplane)
The Greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he didn't
exist.
The Usual Suspects
It's a hell of a thing killing a man... You take away all he's got, and all
he's ever gonna' have.
Clint Eastwood, Unforgiven
This is my rifle, this is my gun
This is for fighting, this is for fun
