"We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there."

Dana Gould

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!" ...until you can find a rock.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

Life's a bitch, then you die.

Life is a bitch, then you marry one.

Alternative version

Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.

Today is the last day of your life so far.

I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.

The more things change, the more they suck.

Butt-head

When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.

A. Rand

And out of the chaos, a voice spoke:

"Smile and be happy, for it can always be worse".

And I smiled, and I was happy, and it did get worse.

"You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps."

Graffiti

"I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!"

Graffiti

"Lower the age of puberty!"

Graffiti

"Wake up to reality."

Graffiti

"Support wild life - vote for an orgy!"

Graffiti

"We are the people our parents warned us about."

Graffiti

"For those who think life's a joke - just think of the punch line!"

Graffiti

"Does God believe in people?"

Graffiti